Tomas Cerny – Behind the Gloves

Leaving Home

I did not come to Scotland thinking it would change my life.

At the time, it did not feel like the beginning of a big story. It felt more like I was stuck and needed to move. I needed something different. I needed air.

For a long time, everything at Sigma Olomouc seemed to be going in the right direction.

I had been in and around the first team from the age of seventeen. I was playing for the Czech youth national teams, playing in the under-19 league, and regularly getting minutes with the B team in the Czech second tier, which was fully professional football.

At that age, you feel like you are on the path.

You are training with senior players. You are travelling. You are close enough to the first team to believe that the next step is coming.

But after four years around the first-team environment, I started to feel that my progress had stalled.

I was working hard, but the opportunity was not really coming. I ended up playing only one full league game for Sigma — away at Příbram, a 0–0 draw played on snow and ice.

That was it.

One full league game.

I was told different things. That I was too small. That I was inexperienced. That my time might come later.

But if I am honest, it was not only about what other people told me.

At that point, I did not truly believe in myself either.

I did not have that unshakable belief that I could be the first-choice goalkeeper for a top-flight club. Maybe that held me back as much as anything else.

For a boy from Králíky, it was hard to look around a first-team dressing room and really believe, deep down, that I belonged there.

The strange thing is, there was evidence that I could.

I had played many games for the Czech youth national teams, with and against some of the best young players in Europe. I had played around eighty matches for the B team in the Czech second tier, which was fully professional football.

So it was not that I had no proof.

But self-doubt does not always listen to evidence.

When you already question yourself, every comment becomes heavier.

Too small.

Not experienced enough.

Maybe later.

After a while, you start to carry those words with you.

And instead of seeing how close you are, you start to feel like you are standing outside the door, waiting for someone else to tell you that you are allowed in.

Around the same time, I had just finished my Sports Science and Coaching degree at Palacký University. In my personal life, a relationship had broken down as well.

So when Scotland came into the picture, it felt like more than football.

It felt almost like an escape.

Not in a dramatic way. More like a chance to get out of a place where I felt stuck. A chance to breathe, learn English, see something different, and maybe find out whether football still had a place for me.

A friend of mine, Lukáš, was living in Blairgowrie at the time with his girlfriend, now wife, Jana. He worked as a plumber and played football for Lochee United, a junior side in Dundee.

In July, I emailed him.

I asked if it would be possible to come over to Scotland and stay with them for a while. I told him I wanted to try to find a football club. And if that did not happen, I would look for a job, learn English, and see what came next.

One thing I have to say is that Lukáš and Jana were absolutely brilliant with me.

They let me stay as long as I needed. They looked after me. They helped me settle. At a time when I did not really know what I was doing with my life, that meant a lot.

And I definitely was not coming over with some glamorous football plan.

If a football opportunity did not come, I was ready to take whatever work I could find.

Although, if anyone had actually trusted me with plumbing tools, that probably would have been a disaster.

But before I could go, there were a few things I had to sort out.

The first was very basic.

I needed some kind of football CV.

This was before everything was online the way it is now. I had some VHS footage from games with Sigma and the Czech national teams, so I put together a homemade DVD with some of my actions.

It was not exactly a professional highlights package.

But it was something.

Then I had to speak with Sigma.

I asked for a meeting with the sporting director and told him honestly that I wanted to go to Scotland. I wanted to try to find a football club there, or if that did not work, find a job, learn English, and maybe come back later to finish my master’s degree.

He was not happy at all.

He told me I still had two years left on my contract and that leaving was out of the question.

That is one of those moments when you realise what it can feel like to be a footballer.

From the outside, people think footballers are free to make their own choices. But when you are under contract, it can feel very different. It can feel like the club owns your future.

When he saw I was serious and that I was not going to change my mind, he offered another option. Sigma would allow me to go on loan to another Czech club of their choosing.

But I was set on Scotland.

I needed to get away.

Eventually, I told him that if I could not go, I would retire from football altogether. I would go to Scotland, find a normal job, learn English, and come back later to finish my studies.

That led to some uncomfortable conversations.

But in the end, we reached an agreement.

Sigma would allow me to travel to Scotland. If I found a club, they would let me go on a six-month loan.

But I would still remain a Sigma player.

I had two years left on my contract, and they did not want to lose a young asset.

For me, it was enough.

I had a small opening.

And at that point, a small opening was all I needed.

A few days after I got permission from Sigma to travel to Scotland, I had my university graduation.

My whole family came from Králíky to Olomouc for it. I remember us all going for a meal in a restaurant afterwards. It should have been a simple family celebration — finishing my Sports Science and Coaching degree, marking the end of one chapter, enjoying the moment together.

But during that meal, I told them I was going to Scotland.

I do not think anyone expected it.

I was always very close to my family, so the idea of moving to another country, without really knowing what would happen, was a scary prospect. Not just for me, but probably for them as well.

But they understood.

Or at least, they trusted me enough to let me try.

I reassured them it would only be for six months. I would go to Scotland, try to find a football club or a job, learn English, experience something different, and then come home for Christmas.

Home for Christmas.

And then probably home forever.

That was the plan.

It has been nineteen years.

And I never really came back.